5+Fai+Gavin+Jared+Bala+Lászlófejestóth+Draft+3

t was September the 15th and that meant Alfred’s birthday. It was going to be a gala celebration, marking his tenth birthday. All thirty of his classmates were invited – a great number. The moment school ended, everyone rushed at breakneck speed out of school and towards Alfred’s home. Alfred shot home so fast that he arrived first, in time to put up the last few white tinsel decorations and welcome them at the front door. A few seconds later, a stampede of rowdy boys arrived through the door. “All right, let’s get started!” Alfred whipped out a CD and started playing his favourite rock’n’roll music. [|[u1]]    
 * Characterisation Process Writing Assignment Draft 3 **
 *  I ||

 Charles replied, “Yup! We have 4 minutes 12 seconds!” The third, a boy called David, then said, “C’mon! Hurry up! We need to attach the hoses fast!” They attached the hoses to the tap and fixed them quickly so that they would lead to the extremely tall tree in the house’s garden. They hurriedly returned to the living room just before the rock song faded out. The three boys, Ben, Charles and David, were great troublemakers in class. Ben was fond of disrupting the class with all kinds of self-made toys (not to mention his “great eraser-firing machine” that he typically aimed at the teacher’s backside when the teacher was busy writing on the whiteboard. Despite its name, the “great eraser-firing machine” actually resembled a wooden catapult.). Charles was a small-sized boy with a mop of hair, typically acted as Ben’s assistant as he did not usually have many good ideas. David looked like a pleasant boy on the surface, but he was actually the schemer for the pranks and was able to convince Ben and Charles to follow his schemes. [|[u2]]     Alfred said, “Okay! Now, after the preliminaries, we go outside! All the yummy-delicious food is there!” “What food?” all thirty classmates asked in unison, saliva drooling out from their mouths. “We’ve got KFC, McDonald’s, Burger King, MOS Burger, Carl’s Jr.’s…” rattled Alfred. “…and of course, the special triple-layer birthday cake! Cut into thirty-two pieces, two for me, one for each of you. Filled with chocolate, mango, strawberry…hey, where’d they go?”

 Ten minutes later, all the food had disappeared! [|[u3]]     “Greedy, greedy!” said Alfred jokingly. “But now for the highlight of the ceremony – the cake!” But even as Alfred said this, he noticed that the class pranksters Ben, Charles and David had disappeared. Where could those three rascals have gone? wondered Alfred. Meanwhile, in the bathroom… “Lookout!” said Ben. “Has anyone noticed the hose yet?” “No, coordinator!” replied Charles. “Hoses connected?” “Yup!” said David. “Then it’s time to take action! 5…4…3…2…1…” they said in unison. A few seconds earlier… “Blow! Blow! Blow!” everyone cried. But suddenly… [|[u4]]    

 “Hey! My candles! They’ve already been…sputter sputter…blown out! Now I can’t make a wish!” “The cake! IT’S RUINED! IT’S COMPLETELY RUINED‼ IT’S ABSOLUTELY RUINED‼!” screamed Alfred. [|[u5]]     A surge of terror struck everybody. They all rushed inside. “Keep the water supply up! We’ll run into the living room whilst they mope around.” They did so, under Ben’s command. They were still not noticed.

 The trio blushed. “Erm…we er…” “I get it,” said Alfred. “You fixed up the whole thing. Didn’t you?” They were silent. What would Alfred do? the other classmates wondered. They were surprised at Alfred’s calmness and in fact, he was smiling wickedly at the trio. “So.” Alfred walked into his mother’s room and informed her. A couple of minutes later, he walked back in. “My mother is going to go out and buy another cake after she shuts off your apparatus. Since you seem to have such a talent for created props for shows, you had better help me with my DI project as punishment for spoiling the party!” “What the great frilly pants!? Erm…we er…but we’re not free…erm…” The trio stuttered and stuttered. “No excuses!” said Alfred. “Besides, have you not said that if I could beat you in //xiàngqí//, you would do some favour for me that I could choose? And have you not said that the reason you chose to do IVP is that you hated DI?” “Oh, //no//, oh, //no//, oh no oh no oh no oh no oh **//no//**…” [|[u6]]       [|[u1]] Interesting. Why did they want to play a trick in the first place? They are Alfred’s classmates. Possibly they want to ruin his party as they do not really like him. Perhaps it was so.  [|[u2]] This highlights the pranksters’ thoughts and feelings, and may provide hints of what they may want to do.  [|[u3]] This part does highlight some of Alfred’s friends, who seem to be quite playful. But why //do// they need to be highlighted? They do not reappear.  [|[u4]] <span style="font-family: 'Century','serif';">They do seem quite intelligent! That tells us another thing about them, doesn’t it?  [|[u5]] <span style="font-family: 'Century','serif';">Alfred is quite clear now! He is quite emotional.  [|[u6]] <span style="font-family: 'Century','serif';">Alfred gets the last laugh. This part also highlights the trio as characters which play a major role in the story, unlike Eric and Fred which only occurred once or twice. --Euclidthegreek (sockpuppet Lászlófejestóth)